Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I Once Was Wild

This was at Myrtle Beach State Park Campground, in 1976.

It was my campfire, and I really knew how to build one up
nice and solid back then. I'd git-er going good
on one lit match too.

I knew darn well that the flames would not bother me
if I quickly squatted, smiled for the camera,
yelled "shrink hemorrhoids the natural way "
and stood right back up real fast and smooth.

I had just lit the fire,
and that was my first beer of the day,
so I was just gettin quite lit up me-self.
I was still completely sober at that moment,
an ah knew eggzzactely what I were doin.
There was no danger of me being burnt,
I assure you.

But I sho-nuff did make it look like
I wuz cookin mah mountain oysters!

It was true magic
to the dozen or so other campers
who were watching.

Then we all sat around that fire for hours
and had a mighty fine evening
out in the woods together.


I think that the campers from Canada
read a different meaning into my
"Maryland is for crabs"

The intended message is that steamed,
Old Bay seasoned Maryland Blue Crabs
are delicious.

Seems like they had never heard of eating crabs before.



Now I get it!

They thought it was them kinda crabs I caught
in an Okinawan brothel that time!!

Good thing I didn't realize this back then.

That's embarrassing.