I Once Was Wild

This was at Myrtle Beach State Park Campground, in 1976.

It was my campfire, and I really knew how to build one up
nice and solid back then. I'd git-er going good
on one lit match too.

I knew darn well that the flames would not bother me
if I quickly squatted, smiled for the camera,
yelled "shrink hemorrhoids the natural way "
and stood right back up real fast and smooth.

I had just lit the fire,
and that was my first beer of the day,
so I was just gettin quite lit up me-self.
I was still completely sober at that moment,
an ah knew eggzzactely what I were doin.
There was no danger of me being burnt,
I assure you.

But I sho-nuff did make it look like
I wuz cookin mah mountain oysters!

It was true magic
to the dozen or so other campers
who were watching.

Then we all sat around that fire for hours
and had a mighty fine evening
out in the woods together.

P.S.

I think that the campers from Canada
read a different meaning into my
"Maryland is for crabs"
t-shirt.

The intended message is that steamed,
Old Bay seasoned Maryland Blue Crabs
are delicious.

Seems like they had never heard of eating crabs before.

OH!

Crap!

Now I get it!

They thought it was them kinda crabs I caught
in an Okinawan brothel that time!!

Good thing I didn't realize this back then.

That's embarrassing.

David Robert Crews
ursusdave
myrtle beach
1976